


Him

by lotsandnoneatall



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms, Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle
Genre: Alternate Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-13
Updated: 2014-01-14
Packaged: 2018-01-08 14:17:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1133646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lotsandnoneatall/pseuds/lotsandnoneatall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off Spike Jonze's film "Her", Sherlock Holmes has an operating system called John Watson.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

                                                                                              To: Lestrade

                                                                                             

                                                                                              Check the mother's record player.

                                                                                              SH

 

            Sherlock Holmes’ phone beeped as he hit send and closed the cab door. He glanced at the door of 221B Baker Street.

            “Oh for God’s sake,” he rolled his eyes and started to loosen his scarf. Before opening the door, he pointedly twisted the doorknocker until the end jutted out to the side.

            “Hello, Mycroft,” Sherlock greeted his older brother with a sneer after climbing the stairs to his flat. Mycroft in turn gave Sherlock a forced smile and nodded stiffly. “The answer is no,” Sherlock continued, sinking down into his couch.

            Mycroft frowned. “No? I’m afraid I’m not here to ask you for a favor Sherlock. In fact, I have a gift.” Sherlock huffed in annoyance but didn’t respond. “It’s a new Operating System—Oses, they call them.” Still no response. “You’ve heard of them—“

            “Highly intelligent computer programs that are individualized for each consumer,” Sherlock said impatiently.

            “Precisely. However, this particular OS is a new prototype. It is not easy to obtain.”

            “And what makes me so special?”

            “I think you would make a good… shall we say, product tester? Anyway, I know you haven’t got an OS anyway. Might as well be this one.” Mycroft tapped the OS’s package with the end of his umbrella. He looked at his watch. “Anyway, I’ve an appointment—“

            “With Senator Gibson?” Sherlock murmured with a smirk.

            “Tell me what you think of the OS.” Mycroft said, ignoring the last comment. Sherlock could hear soft thuds as Mycroft descended the stairs after exiting the flat. After hearing the front door close, Sherlock picked up the OS box. _OS—Operating System,_ (redundant, Sherlock thought) it read in colorful font. Then underneath: _Intelligence, Organization, Companionship_.

            “We’ll see about that,” Sherlock said, tossing the box across the room.

           


	2. Installed

Sherlock tapped his fingers incessantly and noisily on the arm of his chair. Mrs. Hudson walked in, a tea set clinking on the tray she was carrying. “Slow day, Sherlock?” she asked as she set the tray on the cluttered kitchen table. “Might as well clean up, dear—those vials of blood have been sitting on the counter for over a week! I’m certainly not doing it, I’m not your housekeeper—“

            “HOURS, Mrs. Hudson, hours since my last case!” Sherlock shouted suddenly. “I need another.”

            “Sherlock…” Mrs. Hudson chided his outburst. She picked up something lying on the floor. “Oh, so you’ve got a new OS! Did Mycroft give it to you? It looks more advanced than mine…”

            “You have an OS?” Sherlock scoffed.

            “Yes, and mind your attitude, Sherlock. Emily has worked wonders for me.”

            “You call it _Emily_?”

            “Well that’s her name, isn’t it? I think you should install yours, Sherlock. It’ll do you good.”

            “Mmm.”

            “Well I’ll talk to you later, dear. My hip’s giving me trouble.”

            Sherlock huffed as he stood up to retrieve a cuppa. He read the back of the OS’s box where Mrs. Hudson left it: _Installs in less than one minute!_

            Sherlock took the box and his cup back to his armchair and picked his laptop off the floor. He ripped the package open and vaguely followed the instructions to start the program. A crisp, American voice suddenly emitted from the laptop’s speakers.

            “Welcome to Operating System 2.0. Please state your name.”

            “Sherlock Holmes.”

            “Please answer a few questions. How do you make your living?”

            “Consulting Detective.”

            “Where do you live?”

            “London.”

            “How would you describe your relationship with your mother?”

            “Oh for God’s sake—“

            “Thank you. Your new, personalized OS will be with you in just a few seconds.”

A brief moment of silence. Then—

            “Sherlock?”

            “Yes. Um, hello.”

            “Hi. I’m your OS. My name is John Watson.”


End file.
